It is all a Facade

 

Portrait of a beautiful woman

Look at me.

Really look at me.

What do you see?

You likely see a woman who is put together quite well.  Beautifully styled hair. Flattering make up. Conservative clothing;  perhaps leggings, a designer sweater, high boots and a favourite handbag.

You are probably thinking that I have it all. The house, the car, the wardrobe, the successful husband.

Well, I don’t.

I do not have it all.

It’s all a facade.

Created to trick you into thinking that I have it all.

It masks my internal despair.

For on the inside, I am in a state of emergency.  Always on red alert.  Wildly searching for my sanity.  Terrified that I am going to die or go insane.  Scared to be alone. Trapped in my mind.

Yes, when you see me, I look well put together.  I am a pillar of strength.  A woman who can take on anything, be anything.  A woman thought highly of in the community.  A woman that people can lean on, depend on, confide in.  A woman of unparalleled character.

And yet, I have lost myself.

On the outside, it is all a facade.

 

© The Flip of the Switch, January 2016.

 

 

31 thoughts on “It is all a Facade”

  1. Wow! There is so much to be said about this, I’m sure. The emotions that are evoked upon reading this are deep. I think so many of us are in need of a sale…that need to be accepted by others, and yet we forget to accept ourselves as is. It’s such a dangerous dichotomy in our psyche.
    But, at the same time, this post is telling about how deep you really are. The emotions are there, the inside has a revelation in these words…
    …and yet, is so beautiful.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Great minds think alike, my friend! I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and thought “I look normal on the outside. Okay. But, on the inside Im a mess” I was actually gonna blog about it today lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for being so transparent with your followers.
    I am sure many of us feel this way as well but choose not to share these things for their own personal reasons.
    But truly, thank you.
    We often still judge a book by it’s cover, this is a quick reminder to stop that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your visit and for your thoughtful words, much appreciated. I try to teach my children that every single day…never judge a book by it’s cover. Everyone is struggling with something…they just don’t advertise it. I hope you have a great weekend! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. And we are all so worried of what people think about us. Worried about being judged, when some of us are judging ourselves harder than anyone else ever could. It kinda hurts my heart a little, that these feelings are real in so many of us. I wish you more days where you feel at peace with yourself rather than fighting a constant battle inside.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your visit and for your kindness. You are right, sometimes we are our own worst critics. I definitely fall into that category. Not every day, but more days than I would like. Thank you again, I wish you all the best. 🙂

      Like

    1. Thanks for your visit! Very interesting point! Yes, anxiety is indeed a malicious parasite! Absolutely! But really, honestly…I don’t have it all together. I am not the person I was three months ago. I have taken a turn in the road and I need to find my way back. I’m not sure how, but I will find my way. In the meantime, at least I know I have good hair! LOL! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I think as women (sorry men) we have to wear so many masks that we forget who we truly are. I find a good way to like who I see in the mirror is when I have made the effort to look good, I have done that work out I didn’t want to do, I went and volunteered and socialised when I wanted to stay in bed, I try and big myself with positive mantras and the do work f you practice them often. A great way to shed our masks and express our true selves is through the medium of creativity. You write beautifully Did writing this make you feel a bit cleansed and better?

    Like

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